


Hair measuring contest

by lasttoknow



Category: The Hobbit
Genre: F/M, Hair, fem bilbo, hobbit hair is better than the dwarves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 18:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11064657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasttoknow/pseuds/lasttoknow
Summary: Dwarves are very fussy about their hair length and what it means.One shot.





	Hair measuring contest

It was during the stay at Beorn's that she saw the dwarves with their hair down for the first time. They were carefully combing it, almost lovingly. After a while, Dori turned to Bilbo.  
"Will you not let your hair down, Bilbo?"  
"No, I think not."  
It was almost as if she had kicked each and everyone of them. Some looked saddened, others tearful and a few resigned.  
Kili was one of the teary-eyed ones. "Do you not trust us? I know we messed up with the trolls, but..."  
"We're sorry!" Fili quickly added.  
Looking around at the dwarves Bilbo raised her hands, calling out, "I think that there is a cultural misunderstanding here. I am not taking by hair down because it is a pain to put up, hence why it has been in a bun the entire journey. Now, what does hair down mean to dwarves?"  
"Well lass, hair down and unbound in the company of those not your kin is a sign of great trust. It, ah, it is the deepest sign of trust. But as a hobbit" here Balin was addressing the whole company, "the same ideas do not apply."  
There is a great deal of nodding at this and the company leave her be. 

The next day the dwarves have their hair down again, but are measuring each others.  
"What are they doing now?" Bilbo inquires.  
"Well, they are measuring their hair, as supposedly, the more hair you have, the more cunning you are." Dwalin informed her.   
"Who's winning?"  
Dwalin growled, "Nori, followed by Fili. They are both acting like right little peacocks."  
She burst into laughter at the look on his face at that.   
"Well, we can't have that. Dori!" She yelled.  
The dwarf turned to her.  
"If I beat your brother at this hair measuring contest, do I win a prize?"  
"Lass, if you win I'll give you all the honey cakes at dinner."  
Bilbo moved into the centre of the group. She hears Gloin mutter, "5 says she won't beat Nori." Others are defiantly placing bets.  
"So, what do I have to beat?"  
"2 feet 9 inches." Nori is defiantly smug about that amount.   
Her smile, however, quickly robs him of that. "Well, lets get started."  
Carefully she removed her hair net and two ribbons. Then, with a flourish, she removed the last ribbon. Her hair sprang out of the bun, circling her like a halo. Thick golden curls that went down to her knees were stared at by the dwarves.  
"How," Ori exclaimed, "does it all fit in that tiny bun?"  
"Practice, although, I may need aid in getting it back in that tiny bun, as there is a lot of hair. Now Kili, hold this." She gave him a lock of her hair and began to walk away from him. Each step gains more cries from the dwarves, until she feels that the hair is taunt.  
Oin measures it and then, "7 feet, 10 inches."  
There a whoops and groans from the dwarves that placed bets. Nori looks gobsmacked.

That evening (after eating many honey cakes) Bilbo is losing the battle against her hair. Practically every curl has a knot, making brushing it hell.  
"You don't have to attack that like it's an orc." Nori, stealthy as ever, sat down next to her.  
"It fights back! If you could help it would be much appreciated."   
"Lass, do you know what you just offered?" He sounded a little in awe.  
Remembering that conversation with Ori she giggled, "I do."  
Suffice to say, Nori was quite happy to fight her hair for her.


End file.
